Statistics say that most marriages fall at the 7 year marker. People are waiting later to get married and to be more ‘secure’ in themselves, their careers, get the party life out of the way… Some people are saying that the inch is creeping up at 3 years. “Why even get married?,” this is what I hear a lot from men. That is tough to argue with – the divorce rate is incredibly high and the horror stories are heart-breaking.
Even with that, I am so blessed to be surrounded by a family of married couples well into their 20+ years. I also have friends that are my age who are happily married. These people give me HOPE that one day, I may find someone special to spend the rest of my days with. I realize that with marriage comes a lot of work. Work that cannot just be given up because we are tired. There needs to be a commitment that comes before the proposal between two people as well as with yourself. Yes, WITH YOURSELF. There are times when we allow ourselves to get off the hook with things that seems difficult. We quit, give up, make excuses. The truth is we are giving up on ourselves. Life isn’t easy. Nothing worth attaining is easy. I find that when I work hard for something, I cherish that something more. The union of marriage seals that commitment by law and to God. Some people may not put marriage to the utmost importance, but I do.
Let’s go back to the commitment to Self.
I see marriage very similar to a career choice. When you decide what you want to do when you grow up – something happens. You make a commitment to yourself to go down a path in order to get to the point where you are doing what you want to do. You go to school, go through training, get the job, suck at it for awhile before you get better at it. There are times where curve balls will be thrown at you and you have to play dodge ball here and there. But that is how you learn and grow. Some people do make career changes and for me, that is not giving up on yourself nor your dreams. Growth will occur when you seek something greater for yourself. When you are committed to that, you are following your heart. In marriage, when you realize that growth will occur, if you are committed to your growth as an individual and as a couple, love and respect will bind you together. We are all humans and we will fall but the beauty of life is we will pick ourselves up. Sometimes it’s good to allow and have someone else help you in that process.
I’m not married so this blog may just be wishful thinking on my part in hopes that one day MY MARRIAGE will stand the test of times (ups and downs, twists and turns). But I know I do not give up easily, at least not to myself. I know that when I make a commitment to myself as important and precious as marriage is, I will NOT become a statistic that you read about. So I ask you, how strong is YOUR commitment to yourself? And are you willing to be accountable to stick to it?